Monday, August 9, 2010

Constant Craving.

For years I went to church with the girls, minus my unwilling husband because I wanted a better relationship with God aside from the Catholic raising I had few fond memories of. I wanted my girls to soak in all they could learn, I wanted us to learn together. But I grew tired of the church we went to, rather I grew tired of the Pastor and his wife. I just didn't feel like we belonged there so we left. I never did find another church after that, my feelings of walking into another church with my kids sans my husband scared me. I hated to think of what others were thinking seeing me alone. In my heart I hoped that we would go as a family and Mike just wasn't ready.

For the past few months now he has shown more interest, when mine has been faded for quite a while. He studies his bible, and he has the girls summarizing one chapter a day. I read my bible when I hear it calling to me. I'm still learning, so baby steps are what's best for me. My husband enjoys reading his bible ( as do I), and I believe he craves it. That makes me happy that he is finding his own happiness in the Lord. Something i found on my own a few years ago, and let fade from my life for fear of judgement. I wanted the spark he was feeling again.

Awhile ago I suggested a new church to him and the time just wasn't right for one reason or another. So a month ago he suggests we try it out, and we did. We like this new church and feel it is where we belong for now. We feel that we have been brought to this church family at a time when we are both needing it the most. Every sermon and Sunday school lesson speaks directly to my heart and I feel that spark slowly burning hotter and hotter. I'm learning and understanding more than I have in along time. I am craving my relationship with God more and more and it's causing emotions in me that are unexplainable, and hard to handle. But I will continue to pray, and feed my soul. We will continue our journey as a family and that makes me happier than I have truly been in a long time.

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